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Nov. 20th, 2007 @ 08:02 am deploy stabilizers
Remember a year ago when I said we bought a house? We finally moved into it last friday.

First impressions...

* If you are constantly misplacing stuff, don't buy a house any bigger than you need unless you want to go completely nuts looking for that object you were just holding a second ago. I already knew this, but why can't I stop myself from putting things down in invisible places?

* High ceilings equals long staircases. It's 22 steps down and 17 steps up from the main floor. What's that ivy, you want a drink of water in the middle of the night? No problem, it's only a 78 step round trip! Come again, you can't find your stuffed animal du jour? Back in a heart attack!

* Yesterday our next-door neighbors moved out and a family across the street moved in. That means among all the houses we can see from our front step (our own and those two) we've resided here the longest. Damn these newcomers and their out-of-town ways! I remember how wonderful bend used to be... the day before yesterday.
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From:ruchie
Date:November 20th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)

Hang on a sec...

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22 down and 17 up is 1/2 the journey?

So there are 2 areas in your house essentially on the same level (5 steps off) that aren't connected and only accessible to each other via a lower floor?

Unless you've taken up residence in a treehouse & we're talking about having the kitchen & bedrooms on opposing branches, I'm having a tough time picturing this layout.

OK, Seriously the only sensible scenario I can picture is:
22 down to kitchen
17 up to Ivy's room.
17 back down to kitchen
22 back up to your room.
To which I say - keep a glass in the master bathroom
middle of the night thirst can be quenched w/ sink water.
You'll put a little extra iron (maybe a little mercury) in your child's diet, but you'll cut your travel time way down.

As far as the missing toys, 2 words "monkey butlers"
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From:extempore
Date:November 20th, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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I read your post and wondered what in god's name I must have written to inspire such an interpretation, but when I re-read the original it still made sense to me. So... "check your premises."
From:ruchie
Date:November 20th, 2007 04:46 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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I think I made the assumption that all bedrooms were on virtually the same floor, which used to be a very common setup.

Upon re-reading, I'm now assuming Ivy's room, the kitchen & the master suite are 3 different levels.

That makes your description much more sensible.
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From:extempore
Date:November 20th, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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Give that man a cigar!
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From:dianagram
Date:November 20th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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Unless Paul moved into a house inspired by M.C. Escher ....
From:estwald
Date:November 20th, 2007 10:59 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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I read it as a metaphor
From:matchesmalone
Date:November 24th, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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A better question might be, why are you two whole floors away from your daughter? Did I miss a previous post where this became a good idea?

Oh, and to the guy that said sink water is a good idea, it also contains aluminum, which can lead to Alzheimer's later in life....
From:ruchie
Date:November 20th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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OK, now I'm a little obsessed w/ the subtle queues I took to lead me to the initial impression I did.

I think it's the wording "22 steps down & 17 steps up from the main floor"
The layout description is using the main floor as a focal point to describe it's relative place between the bedrooms.

That's still my mental focal point when I read "78 step round trip" so my mind immediately starts putting together the scenario where 22 down & 17 up is 1/2 of the journey, as opposed to the journey starting in 1 bedroom & passing through the previously mentioned focal point, only reaching the 1/2 way point after ascending 39 steps to reach the other bedroom.

So yeah, there's my excuse for the poor reading comprehension.
That & I'm also trying to figure out why the code I'm currently debugging works perfectly from the cmd line but fails miserably when executed in php from a browser.
Dammit, firebug, show me the error of my ways!
From:shezzavague
Date:November 21st, 2007 01:11 am (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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Following your main floor reference point logic through, I think a sane person would assume that the 'living room' etc was on one floor, from which the bedrooms were 17 steps up and the kitchen - or at least fridge - was 22 steps down.

My bad luck to be sane while you are borderline autistic / genius / whatever.

PS - sorry to be grammar police, but queues?!! I don't think anyone else is in line for your explanation...
From:howardtreesong
Date:November 20th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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Yes, well, my first reading of this was that you took every step going down but skipped five steps coming up, and can't do simple multiplication . . . which is precisely why my blog is at the "elementary school" level.

Amusingly, we're living in our attic until our renovations are done. The house is old, so stairways are narrow and steep -- 11, turn, 11, landing, 12, turn 12 -- so it's a four-turn 96 step sojourn to the kitchen in the middle of the night. Plus, the kids are afraid to go downstairs at night by themselves. We solved all this by putting a kitchenette in the attic.
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From:jacknino
Date:November 20th, 2007 05:10 pm (UTC)

Re: Hang on a sec...

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In your defense I was confused when I first read the 22 steps down and 17 up as well. After reading the sentence closely and knowing that I had to be misinterpreting something I realized what was being said. I think part of the problem is that I've lived in Las Vegas for almost twenty years now and have never seen a house here that is over two stories. Over time two stories appears to have become my brain's default picture when I hear that a house has stairs.

Maybe 22 steps down and 17 up is written at a high school level and that's too complicated for me to figure out.
From:mr_heathen
Date:November 20th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
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congratulations on your new house!
From:drtjeckleburg
Date:November 20th, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
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Congratulations on the new home! I'm a Realtor, and out of professional curiosity, I'm just wondering if you'll be posting pictures of the new home.

But, my presence here is self-evident that you have waaaaay too many anonymous internet strangers reading your blog, so I understand if you won't.
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From:normalcyispasse
Date:November 20th, 2007 11:03 pm (UTC)
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You could easily install one of those old-person chair lifts on your banisters. Or train for half marathons. Either way, no more heart attacks!
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From:boshvark
Date:November 21st, 2007 05:31 am (UTC)
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From:jjharris1978
Date:November 21st, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)
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Back in a heart attack!

Remember to not allow your heart rate above 100...
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From:extempore
Date:November 21st, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
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My resting rate is above 100! In fact, your suggestion to keep it below 100 sent it skyrocketing above 150.
From:matchesmalone
Date:November 24th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)

Are you asthmatic?

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Just asking, as you seem to be in pretty good shape from the pictures I've seen of you....