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Mar. 6th, 2008 @ 09:24 am the olestra fish
Yesterday kathleen said she'd bought a new fish for us to try. I had run across this fish before because it's one of the six anagrams in the ORACLES group, which by the way I still knew off the top of my head so good for me.

We're a little paranoid about mercury so I googled it. Turns out mercury is not the problem.

Escolar, the popular fish with unpopular side effects
Escolar - a fish with a caveat
Not my kind of dish

I like how all those titles dance around the reality. "Escolar: the fish that makes waxy orange oil explode uncontrollably out of your ass."

Consider some of the comments:
  • Having seen what this fish caused my body to expel, I really pity the two thirds of the population who CAN ingest it - really - if you could see what your body was absorbing, you would never put this fish any where near your fork, let alone your mouth.
  • After a couple hours, I experienced violent cramps then what I thought was a regular fart. However it wasn't regular. This orange waxy/oily substance came out with it. I was mortified, I was at work. I coulding keep it in. Every move, every bit of gas, was accompanied with by this nasty substance, which ruined my office chair, and my cordouroys. I had to go home.
  • If you enjoy violent diarrhea, by all means, go out and order it.
Most enlightening comment: here in the philippines, people actually like the effects of escolar/gindara because it helps them lose weight. Now that is a weight loss plan anyone can embrace. "Eat all the delicious escolar you want and watch the pounds melt away!"

After one bite of escolar, all I could think about was my six ounce limit. How much is an ounce again? I also had to take into account that when it comes to orange oil exploding out of the ass, what is possible for others will be probable for me. So I cut off the escolar. Then I saw the pool of oil on my plate. Was it soaking into the other food? Should I count that toward my six ounces? I realized I wasn't hungry anymore. Even so, for the next couple hours I thought each stomach rumble portended incipient catastrophic expulsion. Thankfully, no.
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Date:March 6th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
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that makes two of us who are no longer hungry!
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Date:March 6th, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)
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See, here's the thing.
Escolar is fucking delicious.
Have you tried it as sushi?
Date:March 6th, 2008 07:04 pm (UTC)
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I have, and I agree. One of the best pieces of sushi I've ever had.
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Date:March 6th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
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I turn 40 next month. And yet for some strange, unknown reason, I am still overwhelmingly entertained by bathroom humor. Rarely do I truly LOL at the written word. This post was one such occasion.
Date:March 6th, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
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I normally do not find bathroom humor all that funny, but I am right in the middle of an interminably long deal call on which my piece is but a very small part. I did not mute my phone, and I just got a rather awkward question about "why are you laughing"?

I did not think it appropriate, somehow, to explain the image of violent anal explosions of waxy orange oil.
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Date:March 6th, 2008 06:23 pm (UTC)

When Olestra%..

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...was first marketed, the FDA forced them to post the following warning on potato chip bags:

CAUTION: Make cause oily discharge and loose stool.

For some reason, it didn't sell. Go figure.

Mike Eldeiry, still experiencing the effects of a magnesium citrate oral cleansing this morning (TMI???)
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Date:March 6th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
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Escolar is amazing. I am unable to decide if I like filet mignon better, but it's so close it doesn't matter.

The first time I had it, I had *six* orders of it in one sitting. I don't know how much that is in ounces, but I guarantee it is a lot more than six.

The next day, I thought I had food poisoning of some sort because I spent half the morning on the toilet. Catastrophic expulsion is definitely the phrase for it.

It wasn't until the second time I ate esolcar (albeit less of it) and had the same result that I decided to look up some information about it.

I still eat it, but I restrict myself to one order per sitting... and try to share that order with others.

Damn, it's good stuff.

If you said so, I missed it... what did you think of the fish (apart from the dread of extreme gastrointestinal effects?
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Date:March 6th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
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ps; Hi, I'm a friend of steeltoe who pointed me here. :)
Date:March 6th, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)


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First time I had it was at Emeril's in Vegas. Yum.

About two years ago my fish monger had it and I bought a little over a pound that my wife and I split. You can guess the result...

A few months ago my buddy came over to cook some dinner brought it and was all excited about it until I told him to look it up. I can't touch the stuff now.

It reminds me of alli and its method of weight loss.
Date:March 6th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
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Scrabble champs do very well at this this British words and numbers game. One of the more spectacular numbers game (cute trick)- which could give you an added edge.

You can buy the game for a dollar on ebay - would they let you back in if you competed?
Date:March 7th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC)


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...is why I check in on this blog daily. Where else can you see engaging discussions about constitutional rights and oily discharge?
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Date:March 7th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)

Re: This...

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The day when we must confront both issues simultaneously is coming - SOONER THAN YOU THINK.
Date:March 7th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)

Re: This...

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and of course this. Would be very funny if it wasn't also so true....
Date:March 11th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
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Would read again!